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All of those things might be sensitive and relevant, but they don’t have to be dealbreaker-type issues if dealt with effectively.
I wouldn’t put it in a profile, I wouldn’t say it on a first date, and I wouldn’t say it when slipping on a condom.
I’d wait until you were ready to have genital contact and initiate the conversation prior. Do it in person so your partner can look you in the eyes and ask any questions.
And make sure you have your facts ready in case he’s curious.
He can ask you questions, research it, digest it, but understand that it’s not a big deal.
Many couples manage for years without infecting the other partner. However, since you’ve already blabbed to family and friends that this girl has Herpes, I suggest you leave her alone. Your reaction is the reason why people are afraid to admit they have Herpes. 60% of the people who have genital Herpes don’t know that they have it and they are running around spreading it! Go get a Herpes blood test to see if you have HSV-1 (oral) or HSV-2 (genital) antibodies. You can take antiviral medication which will reduce your viral load to a negligible level, so that you cannot infect anyone.
If you do have antibodies, it means you’ve been exposed and have the virus in your nerve root. This is a pain in the ass because the pills have to be taken several times a day.
Herpes is not leprosy, it is just an annoying skin condition.
For all but a very few people, Herpes is not a big deal.